Sanders Sides One-Shots
by CanopyRainandSkyWing
Summary: Sanders Sides one-shots. Requests absolutely welcome. More details inside. K plus just in case.
1. Chapter 1

So, (relatively) quick explanation:

I'm going to write Sanders Sides one-shots and put them here. If you have a scenario you want me to write, ask and I might. I won't write romantic ships or sympathetic Deceit and Remus (sorry), but other than that, I'm willing to give it a try. If I write something requested by someone, I'll say who requested it in the summary of the chapter.

Each chapter will have its own summary. Some one-shots might be split into different chapters because they were too long, and for those I'll put the summary for both parts on each chapter. I'm saying this so people won't be confused if not everything in the summary happens in the chapter.

Everything is read and approved by my ten-year-old "editor" before it is posted.

Since it's not allowed to post chapters that are basically just author's notes, here's a one-shot that isn't long enough to be its own chapter:

Patton was just walking back to his room when he heard from inside Virgil's room the last words he expected to. "I love you."

Patton stood stock-still in the hallway, ecstatic that Virgil had finally said the words he'd been so reluctant to say in the Valentine's Day video.

"You're not confusing, you're just sweet and affectionate."

Patton wondered if he was talking to Roman or Logan, thrilled that it was anyone at all.

"You're just a bundle of cute."

Cute? Who did Virgil think was cute?

"You're my dearest darling."

Now Patton had to know. Was Virgil with Roman or Logan? Roman or Logan?! He pushed Virgil's door open a crack, hoping Virgil wouldn't notice, to see- oh. Okay then, never mind.

"Oh, hey, Patton." said Virgil as he looked up from petting his cat.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: This is what's going on in the mindscape when Thomas has a nightmare.

Thomas was having a sword-fighting lesson. He had almost mastered the art. Suddenly, the practice room, as well as Thomas's teacher, disappeared. Now he was dueling a dragon, and winning. Roman smiled. Logan was quite helpful when it came to real-life situations, but to be honest, Roman was glad he could create dreams without the other sides' restrictions. Although the others could be asleep when Thomas was awake, Roman was the only one who could be awake when Thomas was asleep. The other sides needed sleep, but for Roman, dreams had the same effect as sleeping.

Now Thomas was leading a medieval army into battle. Roman wondered why he didn't create this kind of dream more often. Thomas brandished his sword and engaged the opposing general in combat. At first, Thomas was winning. His soldiers quickly overpowered whoever they fought, and no one on his side had yet been killed. But then for some reason, Thomas's vision began to blur. When he regained his sight, the enemy was multiplying, faster and faster. Soon it would be too much to handle, and Roman remembered why it had been so long since he'd given Thomas this particular type of dream as he realized what was happening. "No…. Darn it! Stop!" Roman wasn't quite the _only_ side who could be awake when Thomas wasn't.

"Virgil, go back to sleep!" he said, knowing it was pointless, because Virgil couldn't hear him and wouldn't have been able to do anything about it if he could. He tried to regain control of the situation, but it was too late. The walls of their rooms worked in strange ways. Roman's room kept most things in (including most sounds, which was why Virgil couldn't hear him), but Virgil's room usually managed to draw in things that could be interpreted as unpleasant or worrisome. Virgil was a light sleeper, to say the least, so when parts of a dream leaked through, he would wake up, and the dream would become a nightmare. While this was unpleasant, at least it would be over soon. Once Virgil became in charge of a dream, it would almost inevitably come to a point when Thomas was about to die. Virgil would then panic enough that Thomas woke up, and soon, the others would awaken too. Roman saw three soldiers heading for Thomas, brandishing their swords. Thomas raised his own sword to counter them, but it disappeared. Roman winced. This was a pretty bad one. The three attackers reached Thomas and one of them was about to stab him when Thomas woke up and the dream ended.

Roman left his room, and after a short while the door next to his opened and Virgil walked into the hallway. "Roman! Why?" he asked.

Roman was surprised by how long it had been before Virgil emerged, when he realized the other side was wearing his hoodie. "Sorry. I forgot." he said.

"Forgot?! You put Thomas into battle! How did you expect me to react?"

"Yeesh, I said sorry, Night-or-Flight."

"Night-or-Flight?"

"You never choose flight _at_ night. You never leave a perfectly good dream alone once you've woken up. Instead, you fight for control of the dream and make a mess."

"You know I can't help it!" Virgil started to reach for his hood, but then pulled his hand back.

"Woah, calm down, kiddos." Patton's sleepy voice interrupted what was quickly becoming an argument.

"Sorry." said Virgil, sounding slightly ashamed.

Roman hadn't noticed the slight tremor in Virgil's voice until it was gone, and he realized that Virgil must have been pretty frightened, especially since he'd taken the time to put on his hoodie and even zip it up, which was something he didn't usually do. That, or he was for some reason embarrassed by the pajama shirt he was wearing underneath. Knowing Virgil, either was plausible. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you for worrying." It was true that Virgil couldn't help it. When he was in _charge_ of a dream, he wasn't actually in _control_. It simply began to mirror his fears, which couldn't be pleasant.

"It's fine." Virgil replied. "Um… is Logan awake yet? Thomas is probably going to need his help." With Logan asleep, Thomas's capacity for logical thinking was limited, and Virgil could steer him into a panic.

"I'll go get him." said Patton.

As Patton left, Roman turned back to Virgil. "Is it fine, though?" he asked. They both knew that by "it", he meant worrying, not being blamed.

"Well… mostly." the purple-clad side responded. Roman noticed that he sounded rather uncomfortable, which he guessed was reasonable. The two sides lapsed into silence, not knowing where else to take their awkward conversation.

Logan always took a bit longer than the others to wake up, so there was always a short stretch of time in which Thomas was very worried. But it seemed that that part was almost over as Logan's door opened. The last of the main sides stepped out and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened again. What, exactly, was the dream?"

"At first, Thomas was learning swordfighting. Then he fought a dragon. Then he was a general in a medieval war." Roman explained.

"And did Virgil wake up during the dragon or the war?" Logan asked, directing the question towards Roman rather than Virgil, presumably in case he'd rather not talk about it.

"The war." answered Roman.

"No." said Virgil, surprising them.

"No?" asked Roman, confused.

"I woke up near the end of the dragon part." Virgil said.

"Wait, then why did it only turn into a nightmare partway into the battle?" Roman asked.

Virgil looked embarrassed. "As soon as I saw it, I closed my eyes and covered my ears and tried not to pay attention to what was going on, but then I… sort of… got scared about what might be happening that I didn't know about."

"You, Virgil, are probably the only one who could scare himself by trying not to scare himself." said Roman. Virgil said nothing.

"Well, anyway," said Logan, "the point is, that's not happening. There is no war for Thomas to fight in, and dragons aren't real."

"Unfortunately." interjected Roman.

"Unfortunately?" Virgil's tone was incredulous. "Don't tell me you wish they were real!"

Roman opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Logan. "Unimportant. Anyway, Virgil, there is no reason to worry. Okay?"

Virgil hesitated. "But what if a war did start?"

"Well, we both know Thomas certainly wouldn't be volunteering to be a soldier, and the chances of him getting drafted are one in-"

"We really don't need the specifics, Abacus." interrupted Roman.

"Okay, then. The chances of Thomas getting drafted are very low indeed, as are the chances of a war involving America starting in the first place. All right?" Logan only sounded slightly annoyed at Roman.

Virgil thought for a bit. "All right then, I can handle the rest." he said. As they all headed for their rooms, Roman heard Virgil say his name.

"Yes?" he asked, wondering what it was the other side wanted from him. Reassurance, perhaps? Virgil didn't usually ask him for that, though.

"No more dreams tonight."

"But-"

"_No more_. Okay?" Virgil interrupted forcefully, yet with the appearance of calmness.

Roman sighed and gave in. "Okay."

"Great." With that, Virgil retreated into his room.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Logan found out that Virgil has written sonnets. Logan and Roman read them to each other and Patton while Virgil protested. Virgil is now both mortified and infuriated.

"There's an infinitesimal amount of things in this bizarre massive universe brimming with exciting mysteries" was what Logan had said, and Virgil thought he'd been very correct. Few mysteries were exciting- unless you considered "exciting" to be interchangeable with "perilous", "terrifying", or "taboo", in which case, the word Logan had been looking for was "limitless". Virgil had looked up from his book and stated this during one of the many times Logan had been trying to convince Patton that he hadn't made a mistake, and they'd both been a bit surprised.

"What do you mean, taboo?" Patton had asked.

Virgil had replied, "There are some things that just shouldn't be found out." Why had he said that? was the question he was now asking himself. Why hadn't he just said "Never mind" and gone back to reading?

He really wished he had taken that route, because of course Logan had responded to that by saying, "As Matt Smith once said, 'Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is Carlisle.' Also, that's not what taboo means."

And then he'd tried to clarify by saying "I meant that sometimes you have a secret that it's better for no one else to know, not that there is general knowledge that should be avoided."

So naturally, next time Logan had thought Virgil seemed suspicious, he'd pushed especially hard… and now they knew, and now Virgil was hiding in his room trying not to die of embarrassment. Because that time he'd said to Logan "I'd write an angsty sonnet illustrating my contempt for you if I actually cared enough about what you were saying right now", what he hadn't said was that he actually had written sonnets. Several of them. And he had written more since then. But writing sonnets wasn't embarrassing in of itself. Actually, it was almost to be expected, considering that he had been named after a poet. No, the embarrassing part was what they were about. Some were about random stuff. Some were about just how amazing and wonderful cats were. Some were just weird because he'd felt like being confusing while writing them. Those were bad for the others to find out about, but they didn't even compare to the remaining few. Because since "Accepting Anxiety", he'd written some sonnets about Roman, Patton, and Logan. And they each ended the same way.

"_Prince, Pat, and Logan (flawed though I may be)_

_Accepted me into this family._"

And Roman and Logan read them. All of them. Out loud, with Patton right there. The random ones, the cat ones, the weird ones, and worst of all, the family ones.

And Virgil had ran to his room and had been sitting on the floor thinking this was worse than having to say he loved them had been up until now. Now, Patton was knocking on his door. "Kiddo?" Virgil didn't answer. "We're sorry." Patton said. Virgil still didn't answer. "You are in there, aren't you? Am I apologizing to a door?" Virgil still didn't answer. "Kiddo, please. At least tell me that you're in there. Because if you aren't, I don't know where you are, and I will get very worried if I can't find you." Virgil sighed, stood up, opened the door, closed the door, and sat back down.

"I'm going to have to talk with you through a door?" Still no answer. "Virgil, we're sorry. We shouldn't have read those poems when you clearly didn't want us to. It's just that they were so sweet and adorable and… this isn't helping, is it?" Unsurprisingly, no, it wasn't helping. "C'mon, Virgil, don't do this. Talk to me. Please?" Virgil made sure Patton could hear him open his computer and plug in his headphones. Patton sighed and left.

Virgil quietly shut his computer, held still, and listened as Patton walked downstairs. "How did it go?" he faintly heard Logan ask.

"He wouldn't talk." Patton answered.

"Not even to you?" Roman said, surprised. There had been times before when Virgil refused to talk to Roman or Logan or occasionally both. But never before had he extended his silence to Patton.

"Are you sure he was actually in there?" asked Logan.

"I asked him to please tell me if he was in there and he opened the door so I could see him, then closed it without saying anything!" Patton's response sounded almost indignant.

Someone (Virgil wasn't sure if it was Logan or Roman) asked "How did he look?"

"Furious!" came Patton's reply. Virgil felt bad. Patton was probably pretty upset to have not responded "With his eyes."

He hadn't wanted to upset the fatherly side, but he had to make the others think he was angry and that's why he wasn't talking, because the real reason would probably upset him more. When Virgil had returned to his room, he had whispered one word to himself- "Why"- and there had been a _double echo_\- the relatively familiar (relatively demonic) echo, and then an echo _of the echo_.

He'd wanted to make sure his voice was under control before he said anything else.

Virgil put on his headphones. He didn't want to hear the rest of the conversation.

After it was clear they weren't going to get any more potentially helpful information, Roman marched up the stairs and pounded on Virgil's door. "Listen, I understand why you won't talk to me, and I can understand why you're mad at Logan too. But refusing to talk to Patton is going too far!" he said angrily. "Do you know how upset-" he stopped, confused, at the sound of a pencil on paper. "What are you doing in there?" he asked suspiciously. Virgil slid a piece of paper under the door. He could easily have opened the door and handed the note to him directly, but Roman supposed Virgil didn't want to do that for him. _I'm not mad at __him_, the note read, clearly implying who he _was_ mad at. "Then why won't you talk to him?" Roman asked, returning the paper. He was glad of the communication- this was unusual for one of Virgil's fury-induced silent sulk sessions, as Roman called them.

More pencil sounds. _I don't want him to know_ was now written under the first sentence. "That you're not mad at him?!" Roman returned the paper again, and again it came back. _No, idiot. I'd glare at you on this paper if I could._ "Then what?!" Roman asked, exasperated.

This time it was a little longer before the note was slid back towards Roman. _You know how my voice gets sometimes?_ "You mean how it gets distorted and stuff? Why wouldn't you want Patton to know it's doing that? It's happened before with him there." _It's like that now, but worse. I don't want to worry him._ "What do you mean, worse?" _I mean, there's a double echo now._ "What do you mean, a double echo?" The door flew open, and Virgil glared ferociously at Roman, all his anger and frustration openly displayed on his face.

"**I mean a **_**double echo**_**.**" he said, quietly enough that Patton and Logan couldn't hear, but still emphatically menacingly. He grabbed the paper from Roman's hand and slammed the door in his face. Virgil could be very, very scary. Roman heard from inside the room "**And don't you **_**dare**_ **tell Patton or Logan about this.**"

Roman walked back downstairs to find the others as he'd left them: Patton sitting on the couch and Logan awkwardly patting him on the back, trying to comfort him. Logan said to Roman over his shoulder, "Did you really expect him to talk to _you_ when he wouldn't even talk to _Patton_?"

"I just tried to tell him how upset Patton was."

"And? What happened?"

"Pretty much the same thing. He opened his door, shot me a glare that would scare off a hellhound, and slammed it in my face."

"How long do you think it'll last?" This question came from Patton. "Oh, I should've done something, I should've told him we wouldn't judge him, I shouldn't have just stood there."

"Come on, it's not your fault." said Roman. "I shouldn't have laughed. Or called him… any of the nicknames I called him."

"Yes, and I shouldn't have insisted he tell us what he was trying to hide." Logan added.

"You didn't do anything. He'll probably start talking to you again soon." said Roman.

"Though, it might be a while before he'll talk to me and maybe even longer for Roman, given how hard he was snickering at some of Virgil's poems." interjected Logan.

The next day, Virgil walked towards Patton, smiling slightly, his arms raised in a gesture of surrender, and said "Please don't hug me."

"Kiddo! You came out! And you're talking to me again!" Patton actually jumped up and down a few times.

Virgil looked at the floor. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"No, no, it's okay! We were wrong, you were justified." Patton said.

"Really, though, don't be upset. I wouldn't even have talked to Thomas yesterday."

"Oh," said Patton, surprised. "Are you going to talk to Roman and Logan now?"

"Definitely not." said Virgil.

"You need some time?" Patton guessed.

Virgil nodded. "It's just… you guys found out a secret that I was really embarrassed about, and Princey laughed at me. And Logan wouldn't stop reading them, and I just… I don't know."

As Virgil finished saying this, Roman came downstairs. "Roman!" said Patton. "He's talking to me again!"

"See? I told you he would." Roman winked at Virgil. "Hey, Lord Gloominess, will I have the honor of conversing with you?" Virgil turned and walked away. "Oh well, I didn't expect him to anyway."

Virgil didn't talk to Logan for five days. He wouldn't talk to Roman for a whole week, and that was only after Roman had apologized multiple times and made him a string of spider-shaped lights that shone alternating between black and purple, but it happened eventually.

As for Thomas, well, Thomas never found out about the sonnets, and Virgil is going to make sure Roman doesn't change that.


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: Roman and Virgil get into an argument. But since this is Roman we're talking about, he pretty much turns the argument into a poem.

"Roman, that's a horrible idea!" insisted Virgil, exasperated.

"In what way?" demanded Roman, equally agitated.

"Every way! Just ask Logan!" Virgil maintained.

"Nope, you are not going to drag me into this." said Logan, getting up to leave. "I want no part in this argument."

"See?" said Roman smugly.

"That doesn't mean he disagrees with me, that just means he doesn't want to put up with you!" retorted Virgil.

"Or you." snarked Roman.

"What it means," said Patton, "is that he doesn't want to get involved in your bickering."

"You shouldn't get involved either." said Logan from the other room.

"True." said Patton. "Do you want to play Bohnanza?"

"Sure." said Logan.

Roman turned back to Virgil. "Please explain why you think my flawless plan won't work."

"I have! Several times!" exclaimed Virgil.

"Honestly, you're sour as limes." complained Roman. His eyes lit up at the accidental rhyme.

"So?" said Virgil, not denying it. "It's still a ridiculous plan."

"C'mon, Virge, can't you go easy on a man?" asked Roman, trying to hide a smile.

"No, I probably literally cannot." Virgil was getting frustrated now.

"But, Virgil, this is such an ingenious plot!" Roman exclaimed enthusiastically.

"If by 'ingenious', you mean 'the opposite of genius', then yes."

"My intelligence never fails to impress."

"It's failing now."

"Wow, Virgil. Just wow."

Virgil couldn't pretend not to notice anymore. "Princey! Could you cut it out with the rhyming?!"

"Why?" asked Roman with a smirk. "Is this unfortunate timing?"

"And you're still doing it. Of course."

"And I'll continue 'til our voices get hoarse."

"Why do you do this?!"

"Annoying you is bliss."

"Fine, you're obnoxious, okay?!"

"Indeed, it makes my day."

"Could you just stop?!"

"Nope, you're falling below, and I'm on top."

"Princey! Quit it! Cut it out!"

"Not while you flounder like an out-of-water trout."

"STOP IT!"

"I won't drop it."

Virgil was seriously aggravated by now. He was losing control of the situation, and he didn't want to lose control of his fury. Then, suddenly… "PURPLE!" he shouted.

Roman stopped and stared, first confused, then annoyed once he figured out what Virgil was trying (and succeeding) to do.

"Hah!" said Virgil triumphantly. "Nothing rhymes with purple!"

"So you just randomly yelled 'purple'? That doesn't even make sense!" said Roman.

"Well, you stopped, didn't you?" Virgil grinned. "I call that a victory. Bye." he sank out before Roman could respond.


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: I was listening to a song about Doctor Who called "Nightmares" by Chameleon Circuit, and it reminded me of Virgil. So I wrote this leadup to "Excepting Anxiety".

_Hey, old man, rest your head, you're breaking down inside._

Virgil didn't know how much more he could take.

_Armor's cracked, set to collapse, d**n you, don't you cry._

He needed to pull himself together, to stop being so pathetic.

_Somewhere, all my darkest fears are gathering._

Sooner or later, Roman and Logan were going to convince Patton of how awful he was.

_It's not enough to save the day, I can't escape my nightmares._

If he tried to protect Thomas, he'd take it too far, and the other sides would hate him.

_I've ended lives, I've ended worlds, I guess I've done it all._

Roman looked like he was about to stop breathing, like his whole world had shattered, every time Virgil made Thomas miss a big opportunity.

_Fire and ice and rage inside, how long till I fall?_

He was furious, he was jealous, he was hopeful, he really needed to sort out his emotions but he was having more trouble than Logan.

_Somewhere, all my darkest fears are gathering._

He had a feeling something was up, and it wasn't a good something.

_It's not enough to save the day, I can't escape my nightmares._

If he stayed still and did nothing to protect Thomas, Thomas would get hurt, and the other sides would hate him.

_Dreams have shown me who I am, a danger to myself._

When Roman created dreams featuring the Sides, Virgil was always the villain, destroying everything, Thomas and himself included.

_Trickster, feared, far from revered, so I must fear as well._

If Roman ever punished him for what he'd done to Thomas, he wasn't sure he'd make it out alive.

_Words and laughter wearing thin, breaking this disguise._

How long Virgil could keep pretending the other Sides' taunts don't hurt him, he didn't know.

_Where do angels fear to tread? How can I think to hide?_

Patton was so innocent and pure, he was nearly perfect in every way, and Virgil couldn't find a way to avoid tainting that while still doing his job.

_Somewhere, all my darkest fears are gathering._

Soon, Virgil was sure, even Patton would turn against him.

_It's not enough to save the day, I can't escape my nightmares._

With all that Virgil had done, it was a wonder Patton still didn't hate him.

_Somewhere, all my darkest fears are gathering._

For once, he was completely sure that he wasn't being irrational, because he had seen the evidence.

_It's not enough to save the day, I can't escape my nightmares._

Every time he tried to help, he only did more damage, and there was only one way the other sides wouldn't hate him.

He had to leave.


	6. Chapter 6

Summary: This document is labeled "Sanders Sides One-Shots: VSVA". "VSVA" stands for "Very Short Virgil Angst". That pretty much sums this chapter up.

An argument between main sides not involving Logan was rare, but Patton and Roman had been arguing for the better part of an hour. Virgil was watching, but he wasn't sure if they'd noticed that their topic of conversation was right next to them.

"He can be a good guy, I'm _sure_ he can! He's just trying to keep Thomas safe!" pleaded Patton.

"Anxiety is a Dark Side, no matter what he says, and nothing can change that!" said Roman, and something inside Virgil snapped. He jumped to his feet, glaring.

"Would you tell Joan that they're a boy, no matter what they say, and nothing can change that?" he demanded. "No, you wouldn't, because Joan is someone you actually care about! The same can't be said of me, I get that, but Patton thinks I'm worth being nice to, and you're just a huge jerk for trying to change his mind! I can certainly tell you that if he weren't here, I would be using much stronger language. I don't know what I did to convince you I deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life, but whatever it was, I hope it deeply, sincerely hurt you. I hope it still does. Now since I'm clearly not wanted here, I'll leave!"

With that, he sank out to the Dark part of the mindscape, and that was why Virgil didn't see the anguished look on Patton's face because his kiddos were being so awful to each other, and why Roman didn't hear Virgil mutter, "Not that I'm wanted where I'm going, either."


	7. No Such Thing As Too Much Crofter's

Summary: This was my friend's idea. They suggested "Thomas buying insane amounts of Crofters because his impulse control (a.k.a Logan) is also pushing him to buy Crofters."

Virgil sighed in relief as Thomas crossed off the final item on his shopping list. Great, this state of constant potential social interaction was almost over. Thomas was pushing his shopping cart towards the checkout line when a certain word on a jar caught his attention.

A certain word that started with "C" and ended with "rofter's".

"Hold on, we have to stop and look at the Crofter's!" said Roman.

"It is arranged quite nicely. Almost artistically." agreed Logan.

"Artistically?" asked Roman.

"Crofter's is art." said Logan.

"Can't argue with you there." Roman said.

They managed to stare at it for five minutes before Roman said, "You know, people will think it's weird if we just _look_ at jam this long and don't buy any."

"I suppose it wouldn't be too unreasonable to buy a few jars." Logan said.

"There are so many flavors!" said Patton. "Which ones are we going to get?"

"Virgil, your favorite flavor of Crofter's is Concord Grape, correct?" asked Logan.

"Yeah, but shouldn't we get Thomas's favorite?" Virgil answered Logan's question with a question of his own.

"Well, I thought we'd get everyone's favorite." Logan explained.

"So we're getting Pomegranate Power too?" Patton asked excitedly.

"Absolutely." said Logan. "Roman, I don't think you've ever said what your favorite Crofter's flavor is."

"How am I supposed to choose a favorite? There are too many! And they're all amazing!" lamented Roman.

"Well, if you don't want to choose some-"

"Can we get Four Fruit_ and_ Superfruit?" Roman interrupted Logan.

"If Roman's choosing two, shouldn't we all get to choose two?" Patton protested.

"Well…" Logan hesitated. "Okay, choose another."

"Morello Cherry, since we couldn't find any for the video." Patton said immediately.

"Virgil?" Roman prompted.

"Black Currant." Virgil chose.

"Virgil, I'm sorry, are you trying to be_ edgy_ in your choice of _jam_?" Roman asked, incredulous.

"Why not?" said Virgil.

"Let's see, what should I choose? Besides Logan's Berry, obviously." Logan deliberated. "Berry Harvest? Wild Blueberry?"

Seventeen minutes later, Thomas was finally at the checkout. "I just want to verify, sir, you want to purchase _forty-nine jars of jam_?" asked the checkout lady.

"Yeah, deal with it." said Virgil.

"Yes." said Patton.

"Yes." said Roman.

"_Yes_." said Logan.

"...Yes." said Thomas.


	8. Chapter 8

Summary: Virgil comforts Roman and Patton during a thunderstorm. I suggest you look up the Morse Code alphabet to figure out what Virgil is spelling at the end. Short squeezes for dots, long squeezes for dashes, and Virgil pauses to separate the letters.

It was raining hard, something that hadn't happened in a while, and thunder and lighting kept splitting the sky. Virgil loved it. He was about to practically _bound_ downstairs, a huge smile on his face, when after a clap of thunder he heard a small whimper coming from Patton's room. His smile vanished. He knocked on Patton's door. "Pat? Are you all right in there?"

"… Kind of?" came the quiet response.

Virgil's heart rate sped up slightly. "Kind of? What does that mean? Can I come in?"

"Yes." Patton answered.

Virgil entered Patton's room to find the other side hiding under the bed. "Patton? What's wrong?"

"I'm… I'm fine." said Patton a little shakily. "I just… don't like the thunder."

"Oh, drat, I'm not good at this kind of thing." said Virgil under his breath. "Um, here, why don't you come downstairs with me?" he added to Patton.

"Okay, kiddo. And maybe we should check in on Roman while we're at it." agreed Patton.

"Is he afraid of thunder, too?" Virgil asked. Patton nodded.

They left his room and walked a little down the hallway before Patton knocked on a different door. "Roman? It's Patton."

"Patton?" said Roman. His voice sounded muffled.

"Virgil's here too." Patton added.

"Um, come in, I guess?" Roman invited hesitantly.

Virgil opened the door. He was confused when he didn't see Roman anywhere, but Patton headed straight (read: gay) for the closet. Patton stopped and shrieked slightly when the thunder sounded again, and another shriek from the closet matched his.

"Hey, hey, it's all right." said Virgil. He wasn't really sure what someone was supposed to say in this sort of situation, but he thought he was probably on the right track. "Roman, Patton and I were going to head downstairs. Do you, um, do you want to come with us?"

There was a pause. Then, Roman said, "Oh, right, you can't see me. Yes, I'm coming." from which Virgil guessed that Roman had nodded. Roman stepped out of the closet, scurrying to join the group, and the three headed for the door.

"Logan isn't afraid of thunder, too, right?" Virgil asked.

"No, storms just really annoy him." said Roman. "We're probably not going to see him."

"Okay, just checking. Why do they annoy him?"

"He says they keep him from concentrating. Too loud or something, I guess."

Thunder boomed again, sounding louder and closer this time. Roman only ducked and gave an "Eep!", but Patton almost started crying.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Patton said, "I'm- I'm sorry, kiddos, this is supposed to be my job. I'm supposed to take care of you."

"Now, stop that." said Virgil firmly. "You're allowed to have bad feelings, we've been over this. You're allowed to be sad when someone breaks up with Thomas, and you're allowed to be mad at Deceit, and you're allowed to be afraid of thunderstorms. Now come with me, sit on the floor with Roman and a blanket, and let me be the responsible one."

"O-okay." said Patton, and Roman seemed a little less afraid too.

Virgil led them downstairs and, on the last step, told them to wait. He then moved the living room table closer to the couch and conjured a blanket, which he draped over the table and the side of the couch, creating a tent-like area underneath. He took all the pillows from the couch and set them on the floor under the blanket, then conjured another blue-and-red checked blanket which he put with them.

"There." he said. "You can sit under there and, I don't know, cuddle or something, and I'll make hot chocolate."

Patton smiled gratefully at him, then squealed and ran for the blankets when they heard thunder again, quickly followed by Roman.

As Virgil warmed up the milk for hot chocolate, the storm only got worse. The rain came down harder, the lightning got brighter, the thunder became louder and more frequent. When Virgil mixed in the cocoa powder, there was a flash of lighting that was bright and dramatic, and the clap of thunder that followed it made Patton start actually crying, and Roman grip him in fear.

Turning off the stove, Virgil hurried over to the two of them with no idea what he was supposed to do. "It's okay, it's okay, it's not going to hurt either of you or Thomas. We're all fine, we'll all stay fine, it's okay."

Patton nodded, but the tears kept coming, and Roman didn't look any less terrified than he had before.

"Um, I- wait here." Virgil said. He went back to the kitchen to get the almost-ready hot chocolate, finished mixing it, and poured some into two mugs. He added mini marshmallows and brought the hot chocolate to the two in the living room. "Logan wouldn't like this, but I won't tell if you won't." he said, not knowing what to do besides joke around. It seemed to be the right thing to do, because Roman relaxed a little and Patton's tears slowed and they both began to drink their hot chocolate.

Virgil picked up Patton's right hand with his left and took a few deep breaths, silently reassuring himself that he could do this, reminding himself that Patton wouldn't know what it meant. He gave Patton's hand two quick squeezes, paused, squeezed quickly, then longer, then quickly twice again. He paused again, then finished with a long squeeze, a short squeeze, and then two long squeezes. He let go of Patton's hand and grasped Roman's, repeating the same sequence.

Once Patton had calmed down enough to speak comprehensibly, he asked, "Kiddo? What was the hand-squeezing about?"

"Nothing." lied Virgil. "I don't have much practice comforting people." he offered as an explanation. He was very, very glad Roman and Patton didn't know Morse Code.


	9. Chapter 9

Quick author's note: The ten-year-old "editor" won't be reading these before I post them anymore, so if you see any spelling, grammar, characterization or plot mistakes, or anything else I need to fix, please tell me. And now, back to your regularly unscheduled chapter.

Summary: Patton sees a spider and Virgil is called in for reinforcements. The same friend who suggested _No Such Thing As Too Much_ _Crofter's_ wrote about half of this.

"EEEEEEEE!" shrieked Patton. Logan looked up from his book.

"What happened, did you see a spider?" he asked. Patton nodded.

"Virgil, come take care of the spider!" called Logan, and went back to reading. "I'm busy!"

"Hi, Busy, I'm terrified!" said Patton.

From halfway down the stairs, Virgil groaned. "Where's the spider?" he asked. Patton pointed to a spot on the ceiling.

"Wh- Patton, that's just a stain," Virgil said.

"No, I saw it move!" shrieked Patton.

Sighing, Virgil conjured a chair, brought it to the place under where Patton had pointed, and stood on it to get a better look. "Patton, that's definitely n- definitely a spider. Whoops." He picked up the spider by one leg, making Patton gape at him.

"Why is it not attacking you?" he asked.

"I can't believe you got out _again_, Arachne," Virgil said to the spider.

Logan put down his book and sighed. "Patton, spiders do not attack people."

"I got bit by a spider once and it hurt!"

"Arachne doesn't bite, don't worry," Virgil assured him.

"Well then it was a different- wait,_ what_?"

"Didn't you see Arachne when you all invaded my room?"

"I saw lots of spiders when I was in your room!"

"Arachne is the only spider in my room, she's very territorial."

"They were JUST CURTAINS, Patton!" Logan sighed.

"Really though, didn't you wonder who spun the webs?" Virgil asked. "Those took forever."

"No, Patton doesn't think like that," said Logan.

Roman walked down the stairs, saying, "What's this commotion?"

"Arachne got out again," said Virgil.

"_Again_? Meaning that monstrosity of yours has escaped _before_?" asked Roman, aghast.

"She's not a _monstrosity_," protested Virgil. "And yes, she's escaped before, but it's not like she's done any harm."

"But it's _scary_," whined Patton.

"_I'm_ scary," said Virgil.

"I will physically fight you!"

"It's my _job_ to be scary. I_ like_ being scary!"

Logan left the room. "This isn't a battle you're going to win, Pat," Roman said before following suit. Virgil smirked.

"Okay, you're scary, but the spider is scarier!" Patton exclaimed.

"You take that back, mister!" said Virgil playfully, pretending to be deeply offended.

Patton persisted. "You help keep Thomas safe, the spider doesn't!"

"No, Arachne's _very_ important!"

"But it's still scarier than you!"

Virgil glanced down at his spider, which had been crawling up his arm during the argument. "Arachne, do you think you're scarier than me?"

The spider paused and then continued crawling up Virgil's arm indifferently.

"Viiirgiiiil, what's it dooooing?" whined Patton nervously.

"Making a plan to attack you and all your friends," said Virgil in a deadpan. At the look on Patton's face, however, he quickly said, "No, don't worry, she's probably just trying to get into my hair."

Patton shuddered and moved farther away from Virgil. "It likes hair?"

"_She_ likes hair, yes. But only mine, she's too scared of other people to climb into theirs."

"Good?" said Patton hesitantly.

"Yes, good, now shouldn't I take her back to my room?" Virgil asked.

"Yes please," said Patton emphatically. Virgil turned around and walked towards the stairs.

Patton sighed happily and leaned against a wall before leaping up again. The spider, which had reached Virgil's head, had turned around and was _watching him_. "Virgil?" said Patton, his voice going up an octave.

Virgil turned back around. "Yeah?"

"Your spider's watching me."

Virgil plucked the spider off his head. "Behave, Arachne, no scaring Patton," he told her, struggling to conceal a smile.

Patton edged farther away from the spider. "Go to your room _quicker_."

Virgil complied, stroking Arachne. He settled into his beanbag chair and listened to Patton ranting to Logan downstairs. "You," he said to Arachne, "need to stop running off." The spider stared up at him blankly. Virgil shook his head and smiled a smile only Arachne had ever seen and probably didn't comprehend.

"You crazy spider." He set her on one of the webs that was getting a bit ragged to patch it up and settled back to watch her. "Clever and sweet, but crazy." _It's a pity Patton can't appreciate how fascinating spiders are_, Virgil thought, but as it was, he simply sat in peace and admired his pet.


	10. Chapter 10

Summary: Basically, this exists because I found a list of prompts and went, "Hey, trying to write these might be fun." The first prompt was "complicated". This is short, I apologize, I wrote it in like two hours. Patton makes Christmas lights for the Sides' Christmas tree.

This year, Patton was going to make the perfect Christmas lights for their tree! It was a duty he had claimed years ago, that had been left to him ever since. Honestly, it was one of his favorite parts of the holiday. "Now, let's see…" he said to himself. He conjured a string of lights that flashed red and green. "Hmm, no." Next he tried a string of white lights with a rainbow sheen, or "gay lights", as he called them. But those didn't look quite right either. Then he conjured a string of lights with specially shaped bulbs- the lights were shaped like letters to spell "family". He wasn't sure if that would actually be possible in real life, but what was the point of being imaginary if you couldn't ignore some physical limits? Come to think of it, though, these lights would look really weird on a tree. Oh, well.

Patton turned his mind back to more traditional Christmas lights. Well, not exactly traditional, but marginally more realistic. How about glimmering gold lights? The way those turned out was a bit too gaudy-looking, he decided.

Maybe he should check if he could find out what sort of tree to expect this year? That was Roman's job, and he always did it perfectly. Patton set down the lights and went to go knock on Roman's door.

"Come in!" called the princely Side.

"Hey, Ro," said Patton, opening the door. "Do you know what the tree's gonna look like yet?"

"I was thinking a tall blue one," Roman said. "I haven't gotten the more intricate details yet, of course, but I'm pretty certain about that much." Did it really need to be said that Roman, like Patton, wasn't making realism a priority?

"'Kay, thanks!" Patton said. "I'll leave you to it." He returned to his own room to toy with the idea of all-blue lights. He conjured a string of cobalt-colored lights, then sky blue, then sea-blue. Then he conjured a string with deep midnight blue at one end and a pale, wintry blue at the other, creating an ombre effect. It still didn't seem right.

He made lights with all sorts of combinations of blue and green, in different shades or just different patterns or different patterns of shades. But he rejected each. He turned to lights that changed colors. Some faded from indigo to cerulean to grey-blue. Some started baby blue, then darkened to teal and navy. Some of the colors he used he didn't even know the names of. Still, Patton was sure it could be better.

Finally, after many, many, many more trials, all of them errors, it came to him. He had to squeal in excitement for about thirty seconds before actually giving his idea substance. He conjured one more string of lights. The part to wrap around the base of the tree glowed a sparkly ruby-red. The second quarter was a pretty, playful light blue, which then transitioned to the deeper and darker blue of the third quarter of the string. For the top of the tree, purple lights twinkled alluringly. Yes, _these_ lights were perfect.

Patton looked up from the string of lights in his hands upon hearing a knock at his door. "Yeah?" he said.

The door opened to show Virgil. "Hi, Patton, have you finished with the li-" Virgil stopped short at the sight of Christmas lights covering every surface of Patton's room, some even entangling Patton to the point where Virgil wasn't sure if Patton could use his legs at the moment. "What the fu- um, what the _freak_ happened here?"

At length, Patton answered, "…It's complicated."


	11. Chapter 11

Summary: Today's prompt is "unbreakable". In this, Thomas is ten, Patton is thrilled about his Secret Santa gift, Deceit is less so, and Virgil is not a jerk. I apologize in advance for making Patton cry.

By the time Thomas was ten years old, his three main Sides had been exchanging Secret Santa gifts for a few years and were pretty familiar with each others' likes and interests. This year, Patton had given Logan an alarm clock that woke you up with a multiplication or division problem that the answer to was whatever hour you set it to go off. Logan had given Roman a book about William Shakespeare and his plays. Patton was particularly ebullient about the gift he had gotten from Roman: a glittery, rainbow, heart-shaped decoration. He rambled about it to whoever would listen- which, at this point, was just Deceit.

"It's so pretty, and it sparkles, and it's gay! And Princey thought of all that. He's so thoughtful. I'm going to keep it in my room, like, forever! It's _gay_, just like us!"

"Could I see it?" asked Deceit.

"Uh… I guess so," said Patton, trying to hide his reluctance in order to be polite. Handing over the ornament, he continued. "And it's really smooth, like, super-smooth, like, _feel_ it! And the best part is, it won't matter if I'm clumsy and drop it, because it's unbreakable!"

This, finally, got a reaction out of Deceit. "The Titanic was unsinkable."

"W-what?" Patton said, suddenly nervous.

Deceit waved his left hand, and a knife appeared in it. He cleanly cut the ornament in two, then dropped the pieces to the floor, sinking out with the words, "Unbreakable Titanic."

Then the tears began to run. Patton sniffled and wiped at his eyes. "You cut it! That's not the same as breaking it! And now it's ruined." Deceit, of course, was no longer there, so he didn't hear Patton sobbing- exactly the reason he'd left when he had.

The one who did hear Patton's cries, however, was Anxiety. He stood unnoticed for a few seconds, not sure what to do. He remembered the many puns Patton had made, so… "Wow, Deceit really did break your heart, didn't he?"

Patton looked up, surprised, and nodded.

Anxiety picked up the pieces and studied them carefully. He conjured some purple substance that looked kind of like clay, but not quite the same. He smeared it on one half, then stuck the other half to it. He handed it back to Patton. "Remember I'm not like him," he said. "I might act like the bad guy and upset Thomas, but remember I'm not the same as them."

Patton dried his eyes and hugged the sort-of-fixed decoration to his chest, then suddenly pulled Anxiety into a hug instead. "Thank you," he said emphatically.

Startled, Anxiety stiffened, but after a moment he hugged Patton back.


	12. Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo

Summary: Roman asks Logan something. Upon hearing Logan's answer, he regrets doing so. Everyone else finds it hilarious, though.

It was a peaceful afternoon in Thomas Sanders's mind. Roman, Logan and Virgil were in the living room of the mindscape, while Patton was reorganizing his room.

"Hey, nerd!" said Roman.

"Yes?" said Logan, looking up.

Roman squealed. "Oh my god, you responded to 'nerd'!"

"Was that all you wanted?"

"Nah, tell me something random and nerdy."

"Let me think."

"It's not like I can stop you from thinking."

Logan stared dubiously at Roman.

"Okay, okay, I can and have, but I won't right now," Roman conceded.

After a pause, Logan said, "Patton may have told you this after I told him, but did you know that the sentence 'Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo' is technically grammatically correct?"

"What? How?"

"Buffalo has three meanings: bison, bully, and a place in New York. Therefore, 'Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo' means 'New York bison bully New York bison'."

"I… I'm short-circuiting," said Roman. "No. Just no."

This, finally, caught Virgil's attention. "Whatever's making Princey say 'no' like that, I fully approve of it."

Roman groaned and walked off to question the English language alone in his room, and he thought that that would be the end of it.

Except…

A few days later, as a result of boredom, Thomas summoned his Sides and asked them to play a game with him. The way the game would work was they would go in a circle and each person/Side would say one word. That way, they would make a sentence. The order would be Logan, Virgil, Patton, Thomas, Roman.

"Buffalo," Logan said, very deliberately.

Virgil smirked. "Buffalo."

"Buffalo!" said Patton, clapping his hands.

"...Buffalo?" contributed Thomas hesitantly.

"No!" shouted Roman.

Virgil chuckled first. Then Patton burst into a fit of giggles. Logan finally broke, giving in to uproarious laughter. Roman provided a glare for each of them individually.

And Thomas?

Thomas just looked on in confusion.


	13. Chapter 13

Summary: In a human AU, Patton has started meeting up with a stranger every evening. This stranger has always left all the talking to Patton... until now. He tells Patton a story, and Patton discovers something monumental about him.

"Once upon a time, there was a man named Virgil Storm."

Patton looked in excitement at the man next to him on the park bench. Day after day, Patton had come to this park in the evening to find this same man sitting in the same place wearing the same patched hoodie, purple shirt, and black jeans. Day after day, Patton had sat next to the man, and told him about anything that came to mind, and eventually, the man would get up and leave for the day. But never before had this stranger- or, as Patton liked to think of him, Unidentified Friend- said anything. Patton eagerly mimed zipping his lips and made a show of listening closely.

"Virgil lived all by himself. He had no family. He had no friends, and he wasn't eager to change that. He didn't interact with his neighbors. At work, he did what he was told and nothing more, and he only talked when necessary. He was completely alone, and that was all right with him."

Patton was confused about why on earth anyone would be okay with having no social life, and he knew it showed on his face, as all his emotions did. But the Unidentified Friend didn't react.

"He had a strong tendency to worry about every little thing, but he hadn't been diagnosed with any specific anxiety disorder, and he didn't want a diagnosis either.

"At home, Virgil liked to read Edgar Allen Poe's works, and other writing of a similar genre. He listened to bands like Panic! At The Disco and My Chemical Romance. He was unimportant, insignificant."

That was when the Unidentified Friend got up to leave. Patton stared in the direction he had gone even a few minutes after he had turned the corner and disappeared from sight. Patton shook himself from his reverie and got up to return home, like always, as he assumed the Unidentified Friend was doing too.

The next evening, Patton came back, and the Unidentified Friend was sitting there as usual. He sat down next to the man just like he always did. He gave a start when the Unidentified Friend began talking with no prompting or preamble, continuing the story from yesterday.

"Virgil had never done anything noteworthy, and he wasn't often noticed. And maybe that was why the driver of that navy blue KIA never knew that in the dark of the night, with his left headlight broken, he had run Virgil over."

Patton gasped at the sudden turn of events.

"Virgil died that night, and no one saw his body… except for him. We're all aware that Virgil should not have seen his corpse. Virgil was also aware of that. Yet there it was. His heart had stopped beating, his lungs had stopped moving air, his body had stopped living- and here he was looking at it. There was nothing he could think to do except hide it.

"He dragged the body into his backyard, but with every step he took, his grasp on the corpse grew weaker. At last, it simply fell through his hands. He could no longer feel it, or the ground beneath his feet. To test what would happen, he tried to pick up a stick. His hand went right through it."

The Unidentified Friend stood up as soon as he finished the sentence and walked away. Again, Patton watched until the man turned the corner, then made his way home.

Patton was excited the next evening when he reached the park and saw the Unidentified Friend sitting there. The man began speaking almost as soon as Patton sat down.

"Surprisingly, Virgil quickly adjusted to being a ghost. He took to wandering the streets at night, usually invisible. He only let himself be seen on stormy nights, like his name."

This puzzled Patton for a moment as he tried to figure out the connection between storms and the name Virgil, before he remembered in a flash- _Once upon a time, there was a man named Virgil Storm_.

"Some began calling him the Ghost of the Storm. That was fine by him. In fact, he liked the name. He began to actively search for people on nights with milder storms- people were usually inside during the more violent ones.

"Then, one evening, as he wandered through the rain, he came across a small park. He sat down on a bench, and a few minutes later, a man with an umbrella came and sat down next to him and simply started to talk. Virgil was surprised. He ended up sitting there for almost twenty minutes, just listening to the man, before he left to roam aimlessly again. The next evening, he tentatively returned to the same park, visible, and sat on the same bench. The same man came shortly after, and sat with him and talked to him again."

Patton smiled. The Unidentified Friend was basing the story off of what they had been doing for- a little over a month now, wasn't it? Unless- Patton froze as another thought crossed his mind- unless this wasn't a story at all. But no, it had to be, right? Ghosts weren't real… right? He listened intently as the Unidentified Friend- who might not stay unidentified for much longer- continued speaking.

"It became a routine to come to the park every evening before his nightly wanderings. Finally, after about a month of this, Virgil gathered up his courage and spoke for the first time since he had died. He said, 'Once upon a time, there was a man named Virgil Storm.'"

The Unidentified Friend stopped speaking.

There was only one thing for Patton to do, something he had never done before. He reached out to touch the other man's arm.

His hand passed right through.


	14. Chapter 14

Summary: "Ooh, please do!" is essentially Remus's catchphrase. He likes to just pop up randomly and say it to one of the other Sides, or Thomas, or just say it in an empty room with no one even there to hear him. There is, however, one exception.

Having recently looked through all the Sanders Sides videos, Logan was deliberating the merits of a possible action. Looking up at Roman, who happened to be the only other one in the living room at the time, Logan asked, "Should we explain to Patton what 'adultery' actually means?"

Rising up, Remus said, "Ooh, please do!", then immediately sank out again.

"Well, there's your answer, I guess," said Roman. "If my brother says to do it, you know it's a bad idea."

"I suppose so," Logan said. "The fanders do seem to find his misconception amusing, after all."

A few days later, Patton was musing to himself, "Cookies or brownies?" Everyone knows, of course, that choosing between cookies and brownies is a very serious matter, and requires much thought. "Hmm. I think I'll make brownies," he decided.

"Ooh, please do!" said Remus as he rose up, only to instantaneously sink back out.

Patton called after him, "Are you going to try to put deodorant in them while my back is turned? Virgil told me you did that to him once! I'm watching!", but he was met with no answer. Shrugging off the random interjection, Patton began to make his brownies.

Later that same day, Roman was practicing with his sword in his room, pretending the Dragon-Witch was there fighting him. (She would have been, but she still hadn't reincarnated from the last time he'd killed her yet.) "Feint, parry, lunge, remise," he muttered to himself.

Suddenly, Remus was there, gracelessly whacking Roman's sword away with his mace. "Ooh, please do!" he said. Roman glared at his twin, but Remus sank out before Roman could say anything. Shaking his head, Roman retrieved his sword and returned to his activity.

That evening, Logan reached for a book on the shelf. Remus rose up, saying, "Ooh, please do!" Logan sighed and picked up the book as Remus sank out.

"I wish he'd make sense every now and again," Logan said to himself as he flipped through the pages to his bookmark. "Oh, well."

A couple days later, Patton heard the words, "Ooh, please do!" He looked into the next room over just in time to catch a glimpse of Remus sinking out.

"...What?" Patton said, but there was no one there to explain.

The next Wednesday, all four main Sides were in their living room, each doing his own thing. Roman was scribbling rapidly in his sketchbook, most likely creating some outlandish creature or a frivolous fairy-tale type palace. Logan was reading _The Tempest_, because Roman had suggested he try to understand theatre and Shakespeare had seemed like a good place to start. Patton was knitting a blue hat. Virgil was doing something on his phone.

Remus popped up and said, "Ooh, pl-" but froze as soon as he saw Virgil. Silently, Virgil reached over, covered Patton's eyes with his left hand, and stuck up his right middle finger at Remus. Lowering his right hand, Virgil removed his left hand from Patton's eyes and raised four fingers. He put down one, then another. Remus hurriedly sank out.

"What was_ that_ all about?" Roman asked.

"Oh, Remus a long time ago learned his lesson about doing his stupid catchphrase thing to me," said Virgil, then looked back down at his phone as if nothing had happened.

"..._I have several questions_," Logan said.


	15. Chapter 15

Summary: The Sides decide to watch a scary movie. It doesn't quite go as planned.

"Guys! Guys!" Patton said excitedly. "Thomas has nothing he needs to do tonight or tomorrow! Let's have a family night!"

"…Why?" asked Virgil.

"Bonding time, of course!" Patton replied.

"Sounds fun to me," Roman complied.

"Well, whatever shenanigans the two of you get up to will certainly be interesting. I suppose as long as you don't destroy anything this time, a family night would be enjoyable," Logan said.

"Did you say 'this time'?" Virgil asked. "I don't know if I should even ask what's happened before…."

"Virgil?" said Patton. "Are you in?"

"Um, I guess so," Virgil agreed.

"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Roman.

"We could watch a movie?" suggested Patton.

"Ooh, yes!" said Roman. "Let's watch a scary movie!"

"Well, I don't know about _scary_…" Patton trailed off at the excited look on Roman's face. "Uh… I guess it would be okay if I'm between two of you guys."

"I have no objections," said Logan.

"Wh- you're fine with this? Why?" asked Virgil.

"I am aware that nothing in the movie is real, therefore, it cannot harm anyone or anything," Logan explained. "And when they're watching a movie, Roman and Patton are less likely to accidentally do so themselves."

"Well, _I_ am not gonna do this. No thank you!" said Virgil.

"What are you, a chicken?" goaded Roman.

"What? No," said Logan. "He's a part of Thomas, not a bird commonly found on farms."

"Is the word 'wimp' better?" Roman was looking directly at Virgil as he said this.

"Come on, don't be mean," said Patton. "Virgil just doesn't like scary movies, that's all."

"I am slightly surprised that Virgil doesn't want to watch with us," Logan said.

"Why on earth is that surprising?" asked Virgil, confused and a little defensive.

"I didn't think you would want to stay upstairs alone with the knowledge that the rest of us are downstairs watching something scary and you don't know what."

Virgil gulped slightly. "Fine, I'll watch the stupid movie with you, happy?"

"Very happy," replied Roman, earning him a glare.

The four sides went downstairs and chose a movie (well, Roman chose a movie with Virgil hovering anxiously over his shoulder while the other two stood off to the side). They set everything up and arranged themselves in a way that satisfied everyone. Farthest to the right was Logan. He didn't mind being to one side, because he did not expect to be frightened. Next to him was Virgil, who didn't want to be next to Roman but wanted to be between two others. Patton also wanted to be between two of his kiddos, so he was on Virgil's left and Roman's right. Once everyone was well situated, they started the movie.

Tension grew, ominous music was in the background, hints were made, and they all knew that soon, something would go wrong. Patton suddenly wrapped his arms around Virgil, and immediately, six events happened in quick succession.

Event One: Virgil disappeared.

Event Two: In his place appeared a hissing and spitting black cat with its claws out and its teeth bared.

Event Three: The cat lashed out towards Patton.

Event Four: Patton jerked away into Roman.

Event Five: Either Roman or Patton shrieked.

Event Six: The cat leapt away from the noise and skittered behind the couch.

"Are you okay, Patton?" asked Logan, reaching forwards and pausing the movie.

"This was a bad idea," said Roman.

"I'm fine," Patton assured them. "I barely even got scratched."

Once the surprise had passed, a grin made its way onto Roman's face. "So, if you startle Virgil too badly… he turns into a cat and attacks you. Good to know, good to know."

"Speaking of which, could you come out from behind the couch now, Virgil?" Patton asked.

"Why did you-" Logan tried to say, only to be cut off by Patton.

"Black cat? Witch?" Patton giggled. A sharp hiss was heard from behind the couch. "Right, sorry, kiddo. Not the right situation for jokes."

"Why did you turn into a cat, anyway?" Logan asked. His question was followed by a sheepish meow- an odd combination, for sure, but that's the sound Virgil made. "Virgil, you know no one else understands cat language. Could you just turn back into a human- well, almost a human- and come out from behind the couch?"

There was a pause. Then, a somewhat sulky voice said, "Fine." Virgil stood up and emerged from behind the couch, looking disgruntled.

"I take it we aren't going to finish this movie?" said Logan. The other sides all nodded. Logan removed the DVD and put it back in the case.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" asked Roman.

"Let's play Sorry!" suggested Patton.

"You like Sorry?" said Roman incredulously.

"Of course!" Patton exclaimed. "It makes you apologize when you do something to one of your opponents!"

"Uh, Patton," said Virgil, "it's sarcastic apologizing. The tagline is literally 'the game of sweet revenge'."

"It's so sweet, isn't it?" Patton said.

Logan sighed at Patton's naivety and went to get the game. As they set it up, Roman said, "You know, Virgil, you're a scaredy-cat, but you're also a pretty scary cat."

Let's just say the next time Roman turned his back, a certain feline jumpscared him.


	16. Chapter 16

Summary: This is a short angsty Patton character study. (Also, the stuff in italics was supposed to be crossed out, but the Doc Manager wouldn't let me.)

Patton is fine.

_Patton isn't fine._

There's almost always a smile on his lips.

_He can conjure a smile whenever he wants, no matter his emotions._

You'll never see a tear in his eye.

_He wants to cry so, so badly._

He gives out hugs and sweets and general cheerfulness.

_He buries his own emotional needs beneath all that._

He's always happy to talk through your feelings with you.

_He wishes he could bring himself to talk about his._

He asks everyone about their day and keeps listening no matter how long they go on for.

_But he'll get evasive if you ask him the same question._

His world is made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

_And a million other things he hides whenever anyone else is around._

He'll reassure you that everything will be okay.

_But he doesn't always believe it himself._

He doesn't mind that his ideas are often disregarded or ignored entirely.

_Except he does, and he just buries the pain._

He will physically fight anyone who talks bad about themself.

_He's mentally fighting himself several times a day._

He's the cutest little ball of joy.

_But no one can be all joy, and he's much less happy than he shows._

So really, Patton is fine.

_Patton is not fine. Patton is NOT fine!_

And he'll never tell you otherwise.


	17. Chapter 17

You're not getting a summary today, just an explanation. Once one of my friends said she couldn't imagine me crying, that it would seem... she searched for a word, and I supplied "out-of-character". She agreed that that was accurate. Well, last night I broke character. Welcome to my first vent fic, written shortly after midnight.

Virgil sobbed silently into his pillow. He'd thought that it was going to have been an okay day. But no, Roman had had to go and screw it up, at freaking eleven-fifteen PM, no less. It had been simple enough. Virgil had just been minding his own business when Roman came and started a conversation which had quickly become an argument. Roman had started yelling, and Virgil, like the absolutely pathetic being he was, had started crying. He had also been yelling back, of course, although he wasn't sure how much use that could possibly be with the painfully obvious tears rolling down his face.

At last, he'd sunk out to his room and plopped disconsolately down onto his bed, hence his current position. He could faintly hear Roman and Patton talking. He didn't know how long he spent lying there getting wet black stains on his pillowcase and trying to stifle the noises— honestly, the misery was awful enough without the humiliation added in too— before he heard a knock at the door. Patton's voice trailed in.

"Hey kiddo, I just came to give you a hug and then I'll leave you alone."

So Patton was siding with him— or, at least, not against him. Virgil waved his hand and the door unlocked itself. Patton opened it and walked over to Virgil, who slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. Patton gave him a brief but comforting squeeze, then let go and sank out. Virgil faceplanted back onto his bed. Screw the stains on the pillowcase.

Again, he lay there for several minutes with water slowly leaking from his eyes and occasional whimpers escaping his throat. God, he hoped they weren't audible from outside the room. He gripped his hoodie closer to his body, searching for comfort in its warmth and softness. Roman and Patton were talking again. He could make out a few "should"s, "didn't"s, and "Virgil"s, but not much else. After a while, the tears mostly stopped.

Eventually, there was another knock. "It's unlocked," he called, hating the way his voice broke within those three simple syllables. The door opened to reveal, surprisingly, Roman.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I got mad, I'm sorry I shouted at you. I shouldn't have kept arguing. I shouldn't have started the argument in the first place. If I scared you, I'm sorry about that, too."

Virgil rolled over and sat up. Oh shoot, was he supposed to apologize too? It sounded egocentric to put into words, but he genuinely didn't think he'd been at all in the wrong. "I'm… sorry for not… trying to de-escalate the situation." Stupid, _stupid_ post-crying voice. "I'm sorry for being mean."

"I shouldn't have insisted I was right." Wait, hold on, Roman wasn't done? ...Whoops. "I'll try to avoid this sort of thing in the future. I really don't want to be always fighting with you, Virgil." Roman stood there in silence for a few seconds, before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Virgil wearily waved his arm to lock the door. He was upset, and apprehensive, and tired. He lay back down, half on his side and half on his front, and closed his eyes. He sank into his fatigue and misery, and welcomed sleep when it came.


	18. Less Than 800 Words and Mostly Dialogue

Summary: Shortly after Accepting Anxiety, Patton finds out that Virgil has never before been cuddled. Needless to say, the situation must be rectified.

"Hey, Patton," said Virgil.

Patton looked up. "Yeah?"

The pair were alone in the living room of the mindscape, since Logan, Roman and Thomas were busy working together to come up with and narrow down ideas for the next video. From what Virgil had heard before they'd left the mindscape, they were leaning towards a video about sorting the Sides into Hogwarts houses, which somehow seemed to have something to do with Thomas dying his hair.

"Do you have a favorite stuffed animal?" Virgil asked.

"Oh, I could never choose a favorite! They're all great at something, and I love them all. Mike is the softest, and Tortoiseshelly is the oldest, and Jared is the best for cuddling. Of course, people are better for cuddling than stuffed animals."

"I'll take your word for that."

Patton paused. "What do you mean? Wait, have you never been cuddled before?"

"Well, no," Virgil said. "The others aren't very… cuddly."

"We're going to have to fix that! Unless you don't want to, of course. I'm obviously not going to cuddle with you if you're not comfortable with that."

"It's… fine, I guess?"

"All right, come over here." Patton reached out his arms and Virgil moved to sit next to him. Patton wrapped his arms around Virgil and pulled him a little closer.

"So, like, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Oh, cuddling isn't a very active activity, you can just keep doing whatever that is you're doing on your phone."

"2048," Virgil told him. Patton nodded. Virgil relaxed into Patton's embrace, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence.

After a while, Virgil commented, "This is actually really nice."

Patton smiled. "Can I play with your hair?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Patton reached one hand up and settled it in Virgil's hair. "Whoa, it's so soft!"

"Is it?"

"Yeah, I love it!"

"Thanks."

After a few minutes, Virgil put his phone down and squished himself further into Patton. Patton giggled and kept running his fingers through Virgil's hair.

"That feels really good, you know."

"I'm glad you like it."

More silence, eventually broken by Virgil yawning.

"Are you tired, kiddo?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"We're right here, do you want to take a nap?"

Virgil hesitated. "Would that have a bad effect on Thomas or something?"

"I don't think so, but I can wake you up if we need you or anything happens."

"That would be great. Thanks, Pat."

"No problem. Can I keep playing with your hair while you're asleep?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Mhm."

Virgil closed his eyes and would have leaned back, had he not been fully leaning into Patton already. Patton was soft and warm, and the hand in Virgil's hair felt soothing, and he quickly drifted off to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey there, it's been a while. Sorry about that. I'm still updating, though! Here's another one-shot, and please excuse my sucky characterization of Remy.

Summary: Virgil and Remy hang out after Taking On Anxiety With Lilly Singh.

"Hey, I'm sorry, girl," said Remy.

Virgil still didn't know why his friend called everyone "girl" and "babe" and things like that, but it didn't matter, it really didn't. "You were right," he said. "It didn't matter how I acted, they hate me anyway."

"It's okay, babe, it's okay. Who cares what they think?" comforted Remy.

"If you were Deceit or Remus, you'd be 'I-told-you-so'-ing me so hard right now," said Virgil.

Understanding that Virgil wanted to change the subject, Remy asked, " 'I-told-you-so' is, like, a verb now?"

"Sure, screw Logic," said Virgil, smiling a little.

"For real, though, anything they say about you? Forget it. They only put up with how I act 'cause they know I'm, like, necessary to Thomas, or else they'd make me behave." Remy pretended to shudder at the last word. "So yeah, acting like me probs wasn't gonna do you any favors, hon, but tbh, it had a chance of working. We couldn't be sure until you'd, like, tried it, right? Besides, good ol' Tommy totes needs you too. He just doesn't know it yet."

"Look, Rem, I know last time I thought I knew better than you I was wrong, but the idea that Thomas needs me just doesn't seem plausible."

"Nope! We have no time for your self-deprecation, no siree! Thomas is already gonna be up late enough editing the video even without your shenanigans," teased Remy.

"You're sounding like Morality, you know that?" Virgil said.

"Nah, he can mother hen Logic and Princey, but I get to take Virgil Duty."

"I don't need to be mother-henned!"

"Girl, if you think that's gonna stop me, you've got another think coming."

Remy and Virgil grinned. They liked pretending to argue with each other, though no one else understood it. Princey had seen it happen once and immediately assumed that they hated each other, and the resulting vine had actually been pretty funny, so they hadn't bothered to correct him. Besides, pretending to hate each other was kind of fun. Each fake argument was full of phrases no one watching understood the real meaning of, small gestures no one else noticed, the secret language of best friends. Because, odd as it may be, Anxiety and Sleep are best friends. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but they don't care. They're just glad to have each other.

It's actually pretty funny: Roman thinks they hate each other; Remus thinks they're in love.

Oh, yeah, that's a funny story, Remus thinks Virgil and Remy are secretly a couple. Probably because of that one time he saw Virgil asleep on Remy's shoulder. But, come on, Remy is literally Sleep. Besides, Virgil had been really tired. Thomas had done way too much socializing for him that day. And Thomas had almost been run over! By a bicycle, which he had avoided with four seconds to spare, but still. And then Thomas had gotten home, and Virgil had just wanted to hang out with his best friend and stop thinking for a bit, so sue him. And then once he'd relaxed, he'd fallen asleep, and waking up to Remus's laughter had not been pleasant. Then again, Remus's laughter was just unpleasant in general.

Once Remus had left, Remy had turned to Virgil and said, "Are we going to correct him, or are we just going to let both the twins think what they think?"

"Let's just not tell him," Virgil had said.

But now, Virgil said, "Hey, now that the fanders have seen me act like you, do you think they're gonna stop believing Roman?"

"I didn't think about that," said Remy. "Hey, I know, like, once the video is up, we can get some pumpkin spiced seasonal depression and see if any of the fanders in the comments figured it out."

"Do you have to call it that?"

"Would I be me if I didn't?" Remy grinned.

Virgil snorted. "Would I be you if I did?"

"Touché," said Remy, sticking his tongue out.

All it was was a small moment of tranquility and peace, a tiny respite from the rest of the world, just two friends hanging out. But for Virgil, that was more than enough.


End file.
